Days Off

A:

We haven't blogged in a while. Harriet went off to see some friends in central southern France while I was meant to be going home to meet my baby niece. Due to some easyjet problem or other this didn't happen - my flight was cancelled - and I ended up spending the night in a seedy hotel in Tarbes (which is very much a nothing town). The next morning and I had returned to the farm a few days earlier than planned, and still wearing the same clothes I'd left in (having not taken any luggage...).

It's hard to know what to write in a blog about days at the Maison. So much happens, it's difficult to know where to start or what to leave out. Since we last blogged we have Einstein the duckling who has become quite a big part of all our lives. Abandoned by mother duck, he is now constantly nursed and looked after by Emma and Marjoljn (including sleeping in their beds, travelling in their tops & eating off their plates). I myself don't particularly like him too much though as he pooed on my bed sheet (which only added to the mess Gracie the miniature sheep had left when she got locked in the house a few days ago).

Other than Einstein (and countless panics from Marjoljn and Emma as he has gone temporarily missing a few times), I've also had my day off last Tuesday. Sam and I decided to walk to Plaisance, the nearest larger village which has a few bars and a restaurant. In the baking sun we walked for 1h15 (which for me is a lot as I hate walking). Once there we saw all the tourist sites there were to offer (just the church) and then headed for lunch in 'Bar Haka'. I'd been there with Harriet on a previous day off and 12euro for 3 courses, wine + coffee had been a sweet deal. This time it was pretty merde. I basically had school dinner breadcrumb turkey and Sam's steak appeared to be deep fried. You win some you lose some. We decided against the walk back and hitch-hiked instead.

After work I've been going cycling a lot recently. The countryside surrounding the farm is beautiful. Endless country lanes through sunflower fields & through tiny villages (each of course with it's token church, graveyard & salle des fetes). Borrowing bikes has meant I'm on an 8 year olds bike while Marjoljn dices with death on one whose handlebars aren't properly attached to the bike itself. It all adds to the fun though. We normally aim to finish at a bar (which actually is always THE bar in Prechac, since there's no other in the vicinity), and then be home in time for dinner.

During other time off there's always the river beach. Just a few minutes walk up the lane from the farm's entrance is a pretty idyllic stony beach where two rivers meet. It's far set back from the road and feels like the middle of nowhere - I was quite shocked when some kayakers went past yesterday. The current downstream is quite strong so its quite a challenging swim (although really shallow so not dangerous, can just walk out).

Bed time. x

Wet, Wet, Wet

Today it rained. No, scratch that, today it monsooned. And not only did it monsoon, but we had over 100 visitors to the farm.

The fun began last night. It began raining in the evening. We braved dinner outside, mainly because we now have 14 people at the Maison and need the bigger table, new arrivals being Alexa (vet), Sam (vet), Emma Z (Helpex) and Tom (Helpex). However, after eating we retreated inside from the downpour and watched Space Jam. Classic. As we all went to bed the rain showed no signs of stopping...

In the middle of the night I woke up and this was my thought process:

“Hmm, sounds like it’s still raining... oh yeah, there’s some thunder... hmm, feels a bit wet actually, yeah, my pillow is definitely wet... but hold on, I’m in bed... ANDY WAKE UP IT'S RAINING ON MY FACE”

The capital letters is me shouting out loud. The roof just happened to be leaking in the one corner above my bed. Joy.

We woke up this morning to what can only be described as a wash out. The river had almost overflowed and everywhere was a mud bath. I am now totally able to sympathise with Noah and his whole arc assignment. No one likes dealing with wet animals. I have never seen Brewster the alpaca look so pissed off before today.

To make matters worse, we had 3 groups of kids booked in and due to arrive at 10am. We were pretty sure that they would all cancel given French people’s allergy to rain. However, only one did, so 80 reluctant children rocked up. Plus public visitors, totalling over 100.

We soldiered on in true British fashion, with wellies and waterproofs. We moved tables in to barns, brushed soggy camels, did treasure hunts in the peeing rain, and spun damp wool to make bracelets. All in all, it was madness, but we managed to survive the day. Just.

We are now sat round the bonfire, about to have a celebratory barbeque.

Oh, and it’s still raining...

PS - Andy and I are both away this weekend. Andy to the UK to see his baby niece and me to visit some friends who are also working in the South of France. We will blog anon...

Beret Tossing

H - A few days ago Andy and I went leafleting again, this time to Lourdes. For those of you who are unfamiliar with the place, Lourdes was a small market town in the foothills of the Pyrenees where 152 years ago the Virgin Mary appeared to a young girl called Bernadette...

Since then, crowds of pilgrims have followed the instructions Mary gave to Bernadette in Lourdes to "drink at the spring and wash in it". Although never formally acknowledged by the Church, many people claim to have been cured by the water there, and each year millions of Catholics visit the site, especially those who are sick.

People on the streets of Lourdes can be divided in three main categories: nuns, nurses or wheelchair bound. I found the atmosphere there quite unique and actually a tad unsettling. The street running from town downhill to the grotto is packed with tourist type shops with neon signs flogging religious paraphernalia and over priced fast food. There is a faint odour of hospitals mixed with hamburgers. I couldn’t quite shake the feeling that visitors are having their devotion and illness exploited by money grabbers... I’m pretty sure St Bernadette did not have any of this in mind... Having said that, in terms of seeing people united in purpose and faith it was particularly impressive and moving.

Whilst visitors to Lourdes are praying for good health, the people of Prechac, the village next to the farm, are currently bowing down to a different god – Bacchus. The wine is flowing there this weekend as Prechac’s fete is taking place, along with the annual Beret Tossing Competition. As ‘sporting events’ (I use the term loosely) go, I don’t think it could have possibly been any more French. Men, women and children battled for honour, glory, and the prize of... a beret. Adults were left looking a little sheepish as a ten year old boy was triumphant, launching the hat 23 metres, quite a feat as felt hats are not the most aerodynamic objects.

We returned later in the evening for the disco and once again had an unforgettable night: Hawaiian hats, Michael Jackson, inflatable sumo suits and DJ Scorpia on the decks (CD player) about sums it up. We ended on a high with some hardcore Irish dancing then lay on the road and watched the stars, which are just stunning round here. Unfortunately, when we got back to the Maison we were greeted by Gracie the Sheep who had somehow got locked in the house and proceeded to poo everywhere. Including our bedroom. Joy.

H xxx

The Family

A:

So i thought I'd take the opportunity to show you some members of the Maison des Chameaux family, and also post up a photo of one of the camels as since we haven't mentioned them much, apparently Harriet's mum isn't sure they actually exist! Above is Tallulah the llama. During the day she works in her pen giving kisses, ringing bells and taking hats off in her demonstration in front of the kids. By night she roams around, one of the animals that lives 'en liberté' in the farm, partly because she chases any foxes that turn up (as we explain to all the visitors everyday!) Above she's chilling by the 'artistic corner' that is Marjoljns home during the day (doing various paintings and making signs & spinning wool etc).

Now just below... I think... Ceefa the camel. There are 4 of them but I still can't quite distinguish completely between them. I do know my favourite Claudia though, who seems the most friendly of the bunch (and I've never seen them spit or kick!)

Then at the bottom we have Buttercup the pig, who since that photo was taken has grown massively (mostly width ways!) from eating far too many plums. She sits under the plum tree most of the day waiting for them to fall.

Just above buttercup, the goat pen (home to the famous agility goats Buggertwo and Nougatine. You can also see in the background the family home where we live!

Below, Diablo the kitten. Brother to Marilyn (the white one in the other photos). Sadly we lost Velcro - the other brother - a couple of weeks ago. He never returned from the vets :(

There are of course many other, but we'll have to introduce you some other time...

Fireworks

H - so, today is the 15th of July, which means that by process of logical thought yesterday was the 14th of July. Now to us Brits this is just another day, but here in France, the 14th is big news: it's Bastille Day. A quick check on Wikipedia informs me that

"Bastille Day commemorates the 1790 Fête de la Fédération, held on the first anniversary of the storming of the Bastille on 14 July 1789; the anniversary of the storming of the Bastille fortress-prison was seen as a symbol of the uprising of the modern nation, and of the reconciliation of all the French inside the constitutional monarchy which preceded the First Republic, during the French Revolution."

In other words, a great excuse for fireworks and wine.

So, we all headed down to Plaisance last night to the rugby pitches to see the fireworks. Apart from the obilgatory crying toddler (just dont bring them to see fireworks ok?)the display was brilliant and we all oooh-ed and ahhhh-ed in the right places. This was followed by the type of epic disco that we have come to expect from the villages round here.

This morning (with slightly sore heads) we were greeted with the news that the first of the quails has hatched. If you thought the chicks were cute, these are a whole new level of small and adorable. Photos to follow...

H xxx

PS - hello Nikki and Kate: thanks for reading! (sorry, i know this is very 'amateur radio' of me doing a shout out, but they sent our first fan mail.)

PPS - also, everyone should know that Andy was amazing at laser quest. I mean fantastic. A whole new level of manly. And sweaty. He just wanted you to know.

Pig Poo

H - The world was holding its breath on Sunday night as Holland took on Spain in the football. Our resident Dutch girl Marjolijn was keen for everyone to get behind her country, so regardless of any reluctance we were all kitted out in orange T shirts, feathers, bows, glasses, etc. Gracie the sheep even had an orange shirt and the dogs got orange collars. Unfortunately it turns out the future was not bright for Holland, but they sure know how to earn a yellow card… or 14. We all consoled Marjolijn, hoping she wouldn’t get as angry/violent as her fellow countrymen.

A - Today is Tuesday and we’ve got a day off from work at the camel farm. However, I spent most of my morning picking up pig poo and putting it in a bucket. To be honest, this is not one of my favourite things ever and let’s just say I now thoroughly understand the origins of the phrase ‘shit storm’. It’s actually a fairly difficult job. Scraping the nugget up and away while leaving minimal residue on the grass requires focus and skill. This is farm life.

It all has to be done though, particularly as Jean-Pierre and Caroline are returning home tomorrow morning so our house-sit is coming to an end.

Today we should have a new resident at the maison (well actually a returning resident), Jimmy who is another handyman to join grant building things etc. We’ll get to meet him tomorrow though when we get back. It’s quite an exciting event really, and will take our number to 10.

H - As a reward for all our hard work this morning we decided to go out for lunch. So we drove to the culinary hotspot of Plaisance about three villages from here. (Not) being spoiled for choice we headed to the only brasserie, ordered the Menu du Jour and were pleasantly surprised with our grub. Not only were portions more than generous, food was delicious and wine and coffee were included. Good work France. Complete with a food baby apiece we headed back to the housesit to relax.

Right now we are sat watching ‘Come Dine With Me’ to help us digest lunch. Vera has just served dessert: a scoop of Wall’s ice cream topped with crushed Malteasers, squirty cream and a ‘fruit coulis’ (strawberry jam mixed with warm water). Hero.

Disco Time

So we haven't blogged in a few days, mostly because after our castelnau disco experience it's taken a few days to gather our thoughts and recover.

The last night was 'disco night' of the 3 day Castelnau Riviere Basse annual village party. What we didn't realise is that it's primarily intended as the Special Needs Home boogie night (not meaning to be unpc, just stating facts). So we rocked up in our best threads and were greeted by a huge and very empty hall apart from a few of the home residents slow dancing to Shania Twain.

Not to be party poopers, we bought some wine and got down and grooved the night away.

Rumours were by the way true, and Monsieur Bernard made his predicted appearance, even wearing a clean shirt. What a lad. We spent the last part of the evening having a party in Harriets car back at the farm. What students.

Since then we've been fairly busy with groups turning up at the farm (some unexpectedly), and the public too. We had some sad news, as Velcro was poorly and taken to the vets, but didn't make it through the night. He was our favourite kitten being a bit clumsy... (there's a photo of him further down this blog somewhere).

Apart from all this, we've had a few BBQs, chased some more piglets & gone to laser quest, which I'm sure is the most fun you can have for 20 minutes. Chasing people round a dark sweaty room with toy guns. Amazing.

And now... we're house sitting for Caroline and Jean-Pierre, some friends of the Bird family. Our various jobs include looking after their dogs, feeding the pigs & enjoying their amazing house. Two of the dogs are really really old though I'm a bit scared about something happening while we're here...

Andy

Welcome to our crib

I thought it was about time we gave you a little insight into our humble abode for the summer.

The kitchen – Where you’ll find an overflowing dishwasher, a handful of kittens, a spinning wheel, various laptops with facebook on the go, a freshly brewed tea pot (shaped like a camel of course), two dogs, a 24 litre box of wine (refilled weekly. ouch.), and a piglet. Seriously.

The Mulberry Tree – Outside in the back garden, there is a large dining table under the shade of a beautiful Mulberry tree. This table is the social hub of the Maison. It’s where we drink coffee in the morning when we’re hungover and bleary eyed, eat an insane amount of baguettes and cheese at lunch, and share numerous glasses of wine in the evening when all the visitors have gone home. There is not a dull moment at this table and the conversations had there are not only worth their weight in gold but most could also not be repeated in polite society.

The living room – Where Oliver, Elliot and Grant play online war games. It’s not recommended for others to enter the battlefield.

Tentland – A shelter in the garden which is currently home to 3 tents housing Grant, Marjolijn and Emma. Each night they sleep in fear that their tents will be attacked by Carla the pig. Every morning they wake up unharmed is a gift from god.

Our bedroom – Andy is still living out of his suitcase as he’s being a boy and refusing to unpack. Hence his side of the room is a constant mound of clothes in various states of cleanliness. My side on the other hand is spotless. Cough. He’s also started borrowing things... flip flops, deodorant, hairdryer... I’m worried as to how this list of the stuff he is borrowing will progress over the next few weeks... will keep you posted...

The bathroom – home to 76 bottles of shampoo and about the same number of spiders/insects. It has a window with a great view out over the farm... but beware when showering and then giving an eyeful to poor unsuspecting souls outside.

And that, ladies and gent, is the place we call (our French) home.

H xxx

PS - I'm leaving Andy to blog about the last night of the Castelnau fete as words fail me. There is literally no way I can put that experience into sentences.

Watch the Behaviour

It's Sunday morning and the inmates at the maison are feeling delicate.

After our first night of fete action, we decided that we would take it easy. Our sources informed us that the music would be traditional French, so we thought we'd go to the village, soak up a bit of culture then head home. Sarah was even heard to say "I'll just stay for one drink." Famous last words...

What ensued can be summed up with one word - debauchery.

The brass band set the standard for the evening by busting out tunes such as 'The Lion Sleeps Tonight' and 'Mai Ai Hee'. The dancefloor was literally (not) packed. Of course this didn't hold us back and we swiftly took to dancing on the tables. French men aged 16 to 87 were all keen to show us foreigners their dance moves and remove their clothes... simultaneously. Delightful.

Wanting to end on a high, when 'The Witch Doctor' had played we figured it might be time to call it a night.

Back at the maison, I bravely defended everyone from a beast of a bug (centipede? caterpillar?? it was at least the size of my hand, had thousands of legs and giant fangs,)that was in the bath. Then bedtime.

Final night of fete is tonight, and it's expected to be bigger and better than anything that has gone before... Rumour has it that Monsieur Bernard is even going to have a shower for the occasion and change his T-shirt. This really is socialising at its peak.

H xxx

Dodgems

We haven't blogged in a couple of days and so much has happened I don't really know where to begin.

Thursday we had the day off so went on a bit of a day trip to a lake near a village called Lupiac. Apparently the thermometer was reading 44 celcius (though I dispute this, I'm fairly sure that was at least a slight exagerration) but either way it was boiling. We did all the normal beach lake things - swim, eat icecreams, drink beer. Perfection.

Then yesterday we headed to Pau to deliver leaflets (into the standard hairdressers, small shops etc), which is a really pretty city about an hours drive from the farm. The day was fairly uneventful but fun, although I didn't stop complaining about my mosquito bites. Although Harriet tells me she's already written about this.

Anyway, the evening arrived and with it came the village fete, which Harriet already introduced. It was absolutely bizarre. (but amazing). The standard bad band playing everything from traditional french accordion classics to lady gaga, dodgems (in which I accidentally rammed another car as someone was getting into it and sent them flying, and then zoomed off again - the first and last last hit and run of my life); and creepy old french men dancing with/on the Maison girls. We got quite a few looks from the old French people, as we busted out our contemporary moves on the dancefloor - in fact I definitely think we were the life and soul of the party - along with the few creepy guys and weird ladies dancing by themselves. I also became an Uncle just before the party began (good reason to celebrate) to Ella Violet Osmond... so all in all it was a pretty sweet evening!!

The following morning was less brilliant due to the inevitable hangover, and news that one of the kittens, Velcro (pictured below somewhere), is quite ill and it's a bit touch and go. (will keep updated)

Grant and I however cracked on and started our project to build a tea room despite said hangover. We stood in the river upstream and cut down a few trees to get 2.5metre posts (to build the structure of a kind of permanent teepee/marquee). Although I love fresh air and all that, the mosquitos descended, I was almost crushed by a tree (im an extremely amateur logger) and our plan to float the cut logs down stream to the farm ultimately failed and we ended up having to carry them through thick nettles and lastly my flipflops kept coming off and floating away. On the upside however, I probably earned some kind of man points or something for cutting some trees down (maybe?). It was good to get on with the project anyway, tomorrow we'll continue and get the posts set in concrete.

Tonight we have the 2nd night of the village fete. It will inevitably involve several dodgem sessions, more dancing & local wine. I am excited.

Right. Ciao time.

Bites

Today Andy and I have been leafletting in Pau. Great place, nice cafes, bars, shops, architecture, chateau, cathedral, another hundred hairdressers... Unfortunately, it was difficult to enjoy our time in the city mainly due to being COVERED IN MOSQUITO BITES.

We're not sure how this happened as we're both pretty fastidious about covering ourselves in repellent, but somehow the little buggers have got us. Felt particularly awkward as we got a few stares in Pau due to scratching a little too much in public...

So we're back at the Maison now covering ourselves in aloe vera spray and preparing ourselves emotionally and physically for the first night of Castelnau's annual fete. By far the highlight of the village's social calender, the dodgems are prepped, the bunting is up and the bar is stocked... excitement levels are running high...

In other news, Emma's Birthday was on Wednesday. Despite the fact that she was determined not to celebrate as she's so old (she's 20. please.) we all got suitably merry. The evening's entertainment involved playing ring of fire, Andy dressing as a cowboy and various members of the team ending up in the river. Standard really.

Andy has just sprayed me with aloe vera in the face. Grant told him off: "That was a bit naughty." Thanks Grant for sticking up for me.

Will write soon with fete gossip. I'm sure there'll be some...

H xxx

PS - oh, and the moral of today's blog - if you've got an itch, scratch it.